collegelife

Today is an excellent opportunity to thank your mom for any support she gave you while attending college whether it was financial or emotional support.  Even if the relationship with your mom had some rocky patches while you were attending school this last year, today is a day to express your gratitude.

 It is important to understand that the relationship you have with your parents is no different than many other college students.  College is the first time in your life when you have had the opportunity to be fully independent.  However, some parents (possibly yours) aren’t ready to let go.  Instead they still think you need their assistance, and this can become even more complicated if your parents pay your tuition.  They often feel under these circumstances they have the right to make some decisions about your education or tell you what to do.

 When students come to me with a problem about their parents, I encourage them to talk to them.  You are an adult, and your parents will respect you if you sit down and talk things out like adults.  This of course means that you can’t get angry with them, yell at them or storm out in protest.  These are all things teenagers do, and you are trying to move past that and show them you are responsible and independent.  Most parents are willing to listen, and if you are willing to compromise, you can often gain the independence you need as well as repair the relationship with your parents. 

Compromising is easy.  For example, your parents may feel as though you shut them out and don’t tell them what’s going on.  This is why they call you at 7a.m. on a Saturday morning (which is a horrific hour for any college student).  If this bothers you, compromise with your parents by setting up a time each week that works better for you, such as at 8p.m. on Tuesday evenings.  Setting up some structure to the relationship you have with your parents can be extremely beneficial if you have no boundaries. 

 When all else fails remember that your parents are simply showing they care.  Although it may seem as though they are being annoying or overprotective, they are simply showing their love for you the only way they know how now that you no longer live just down the hall from them.

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